Foreigner Baby

I once read the story of a married couple who had triplets. They attracted a lot of attention from the public every time they went out. People approached them asking all kinds of questions and some even wanted to touch the babies, which didn't make the parents feel very comfortable, especially when the babies were very young.

I started to notice that Fabi was also a magnet for attention when he was two months old and my parents were here in India visiting us. Our favorite hang-out place was the local shopping center and every time we were there, we noticed people turn their heads to get a second look at Fabi as they walked by. We heard expressions like "He's so sweet!", "He's like a doll!" and my favorite: "Look mom, a foreigner baby!"

You might think that it's normal for people to admire babies who happen to be in a supermarket or in a restaurant, but in our case it has been a little more than usual. Here are some of my favorite moments:

- a group of shy school girls walk by and stand close to us whispering and laughing while covering their mouths. Finally one of them works up the courage to come and ask what's the baby's name while she shakes Fabi's hand.
- I am walking holding Fabi, who's asleep resting his head on my shoulder and covering his face with his own arm. A woman tries to keep up as she walks behind me, but is dissapointed when she can't take a good look at Fabi's face.
- As we walk into a store, a young boy and his mother are walking out. A moment later I realize the boy has asked his mom to go back to the store so he can see the 'foreigner baby'.
- When we go to the supermarket, normally Ishan holds Fabi while I push the shopping cart. I no longer get scared when I turn to see Ishan without Fabi in his arms. I just have to notice that next to him there's a person who has asked to hold the baby.
- When we go to a restaurant, I'm no longer surprised to see the waiters asking if they can hold Fabi, the baby with the 'golden hair'.
- A man approaches Ishan and asks him if the baby is German (?!)
- We walk by a fruit stand on the street, Ishan carries Fabi in a sling on his back. We hear someone say: "You carry him in that -- on your back?. We can't see him. Aren't you going to introduce him to us?" I turn back to see an older man holding a papaya in each hand. I wonder what exactly did he mean by 'us'?...him and his family?...society?
- A few months ago, if you had asked me if I would let a complete stranger stop me to kiss Fabi I would have said 'definitely not'. It's common to see girls/women be attracted to babies...but my favorite moment so far, has been the reaction of a teenage boy who told the person at the other end of his cell phone to wait because there was a beautiful baby...he kissed Fabi on the cheek then went on to resume his cellphone conversation.

It's very obvious that fair (white) skin is considered an asset in India, so naturally a baby with gray/bluish eyes and 'golden hair' attracts attention.

I've already seen this 'phenomenon' before: in Dominican Republic the girls like to wear their hair straight, because it looks like 'good hair', opposite of 'bad' (curly) hair. It's ok to want your hair to be straight instead of curly...but why the 'good' and 'bad' labels attached to it?

I have to admit it feels nice when people admire my baby, but I'm already wondering what's the best way to explain to Fabi that not all people look the same and that doesn't mean some are 'better' than others. I would like to teach Fabi to accept people for who they are, not for their appearance...and this goes for people who look different than him including the ones who have some type of physical disability.

If you have a child, have you already had this conversation with him/her? When do you think it's the best time to do it?